SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY
Today is a pretty gloomy day in the SL,UT city and it reminds me of a time when I was younger—I was standing outside and it was raining, right over our house. Sometimes, I think of it as God crying for us because of the situation we were all enduring. If that’s one thing I learned early on, “Dad doesn’t give a shit about us.” And as a kid that hurts but I guess, maybe I suppressed all of those emotions. I was sitting outside on the porch of our little blue house, it was right next to my elementary “Whittier,” in the Westville.
I remember when I would go to that park with the swings and have picnics with my mama—oh the memories are amazing. Whether we lived in poverty or not, it didn’t matter, I have some of the best memories a kid could have in their heart. I would wear my silly Pokémon hat to the park, we would eat sammwhiches and drink orange juice—then she would push me on the swing. Ah—if you could see in my head right now, you would be smiling bigger than ever, mom is that amazing.
And I remember playing in the back yard with our poodle who had saved my life when I was a baby because I would forget to breath.
“Yeah, he would run from your room and come to me and run back, telling me that your monitor was beeping.” The dog had saved me so many times—I remember carrying him out so many times because he had seizures. He would start shaking and his tongue would fall out of his mouth and then one day, he was gone—and it didn’t hurt until we arrived to our new home that I realized our baby was gone, even though he was old, I loved him—and it makes me cry, even now.
I remember living in a hotel for months and months because we couldn’t find a place to live, I mean we lived in them so long that my mom even bought me a bike to ride, during the day, if we weren’t swimming. It was at this hotel that mom didn’t have anymore money. “we’ll just have to sleep in the van,” I overheard my Dad tell my mom. And I’m not sure why—as a kid I never thought about the bible much, but I went and pulled it out for the first time, ever and as I was flipping the pages, I found a $100 bill.
“Monique, where did you find that?” My mom looked relieved. “It was in the middle of the Bible and all I remember is I knew God was real and that he does help people when they need it the most. I’ve learned that God doesn’t help when you want him to help you, God helps on his watch because that’s going to be the best for you, there is a reason for everything in this life. I’m not sure what you believe in but he has proven to help my family so many times, more times than I can count.
God kept me alive—he was the REAL father in my life, influencing me to be the best I can be.