Having depression is a struggle worth battling.
“A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl.”
— Stephan Hoeller
Having depression straight into the new year can be such an exhausting feeling. And it’s not always easy to “shake off,” and focus when your mind seems to be rattled with so many intrusive and might I add, false lies.
There are people who don’t quite understand depression because they’ve honestly never felt it. It’s rare as most people do go through a time in their life where they feel hopeless. In fact, as humans, it’s completely normal. Further, if a person in your life puts you down for your emotions, they should be considered toxic and that’s the last thing anyone depressed or not needs hovering around in their life.
Never settle for less than you deserve. And those suffering from depression deserve love, support and understanding from those they trust.
When should you seek care?
The only time one should be worried about depression is when it’s not getting better, most importantly, it seems to affect the rest of your life. If you find yourself not wanting to get out of bed, lacking motivation for the things you once loved and avoiding friends maybe it’s time to ask for a little push?
Depression can present in many ways, one might be laying in bed all the time or spending money you don’t have, making highly damaging choices or even turning to drugs and alcohol abuse to numb the emotional struggles involved in depression.
Don’t lose hope.
You might be feeling a little blue but there’s nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of gender. Truthfully, we are all here to survive and emotions are part of survival, navigating them can be the big challenge.
So, what do you do if you feel like you have depression? First and foremost, always talk to your family care physician, a close family member or you can seek counseling. I mean, it sounds like a lot of work when you have barely any energy to merely take a shower. But you’re doing this for you, you deserve to be happy.
How depression made me a better person.
After a hard and long 8-month journey of unexplained medical problems, depression hit hard, seeing any point to life at all was a joke. At least that’s what my anxiety and depression wanted me to believe. The truth was, I needed more patience, time and a good doctor to get my undiagnosed c-diff in check. The worst feeling came after the c-diff was treated with multiple relapses and thousands of dollars, as our medical did not pay for the antibiotic needed for treatment.
The symptoms came back but this time, I tested negative for c.diff. And not knowing what’s wrong is absolutely terrifying. I quickly needed to start different procedures to explain bruising, stomach pain and using the restroom up to 12 times a day. There was no difference in what I had that day, water would trigger a trip to the throne as well.
After thousands of dollars more in tests, my amazing GI diagnosed me with Crohn’s disease. I smiled (i’m not crazy but not having an answer is horrible, we’ll talk about that more later) and said “just Crohn’s?”
Little did I know it would change my whole life as I sunk back into a deep depression. I would start to notice the smallest things “wrong,” with my body. My fingers Googled and I felt like I had most diseases out there, a headache would trigger a panic attack.
That’s where the whole “not having an answer comes in.”
Later on that led to me laying in bed for a long time. But then I posted on Reddit. And everybody there woke me up and made me feel better. They were right I have Crohn’s it doesn’t have me.
That’s when I became a better person. I realized, I can’t change it but I can just live in the present and be here today.
What’s the point in wasting hours a day researching a disease you likely don’t have. Trust me, I was convinced I had ALS before as well. Health anxiety, depression and every other trial we go through sucks, nobody deserves to feel them and we definitely don’t deserve to waste our time worrying about things we can’t change.
Just because we can’t change something that doesn’t mean that we can’t grow, learn and help others who might be going through struggle as well. That’s all I wanted to do and continue to do as often as possible.
I don’t know what any of you might be going through in your personal lives but we are all generally good people. And we all deserve to be happy even if we are not perfect.
This might help right now or it might help you later. But remember it takes time to heal. Always be patient with yourself, you’re loved and you are never alone.
Right now, even through all the progress my mind is lying and making me feel as though I should lay down. I will not let depression win and it will always be a battle but it does get easier with time and learning to understand and love yourself for who you are at this very moment in time.
Being positive can make a huge difference.
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