I used to have a best friend, now I don’t. How it made me a better person!
I used to have a friend.
I used to have a friend who literally was my left hand. With that in mind, it’s easy to say not having that person in my life literally made me a better person.
Do you feel like you can relate?
- Do you have a best friend right now who seems controlling and toxic?
- Do you feel like people only hang out with you because they need something?
- If you lost your best friend, would you feel like it was the worst breakup in your life?
- Does your best friend make harsh judgment calls on your choices?
- Do you feel smothered by your best friend?
- Have you felt like if your best friend got in a relationship your whole life would change and that scares you because other people haven’t been there for you like your best friend?
Well, regardless of what you are facing with your “best friend,” right now, there’s one thing I can tell you as a fact, it gets better.
When you grow up losing people your whole life, there is a cause and effect. One that can be positive or very negative.
These hardships can make you yourself toxic. Further, let’s not forget that it does take two to tango.
Randomly, someone messaged me a few days ago and asked what the real story was behind this person and I parting ways.
The truth is, we were both toxic over one another, which made us both very protective over relationships, what we were doing intimacy wise in those relationships, as we were both active in the Mormon church at that time.
There would be morning fits if I didn’t want to go to church and then evening fits when they wanted to go see someone who had a wife and kids.
This toxicity made me hide a lot from my “best friend,” including the possible diagnosis of something I secretly struggled with throughout our friendship.
That truly doesn’t sound like a real best friend, now does it?
Of course, we bounced off one another in this endless cycle. Now, we aren’t going to point specific fingers further, we will end with, I was always better off and you might be as well.
Anxiety, arguments, guilt trips, lying and judgment are not healthy in any relationship. Unfortunately, leaving a friendship or relationship can be absolutely heartbreaking.
Now that I am able to say “I used to have a friend,” and compare how I was a person back then and presently, it blows my mind.
I would not be where I am today if we had stayed friends.
Those who bring you down will constantly try to hold you back and that’s the sad part about life. The fact is, we all have had to leave someone behind and if you cared enough then you felt that similar pain of loss and grief.
If you feel like this example somewhat relates to your life, it might be time for you to think about surrounding yourself with better friends. In fact, don’t put all your eggs in one basket [one friend].
It’s better to have a handful of friends that you can trust with your life than just one who might turn around one day and change.
I mean, we all change and sometimes we clicked with someone in high school but as life goes on, you realize what you are meant to do, who you want to be and why this or that person shouldn’t be a part of your life.
Lastly, life is a learning process, even if you happen to be the toxic one [but don’t forget it takes two], then maybe kicking this friend out of your life will lead you to feel confident by yourself. Losing this person can cause so many positive outcomes.
- You will no longer be codependent.
- You will make a new friend who brings out the best in you.
- You aren’t settling for less than you deserve.
- Your mind and body will become healthier.
- Your lifelong outcome won’t be dependent on someone who didn’t want the best for you.
- You will believe in yourself leading to increased self-esteem.
These things will develop and turn into other life journies. So, whether or not someone dropped you or it’s time for you to drop someone out of your life, you can remember that it will all be okay and good things will follow.