Self-Image can feel so damn humiliating.

Fat to Skinny: self-Image can feel so damn humiliating.

Isn’t it true self-image can feel so damn humiliating? What do you think it feels like to honestly really hate yourself and your body? Thinking you need to go from fat to skinny is my definition of being so mean to yourself…

When you find yourself looking into a mirror and thinking ‘ew, I’m so fat,’ and ‘shit I need to get more make-up, I’m out of foundation and I look pizza dragon face,’ it’s heart-breaking, as well as confusing due to the fact it’s not true.

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A positive self-fulfilling prophecy is something we all need!

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It isn’t about going from fat to skinny!

Though it’s common, many hide their emotions and lather up in make or snakeskin oil in an attempt to nail new styles and trends.

Unfortunately, the truth behind these flawless magazine covers is they are touched up by professional software, such as Adobe’s “Photoshop.”

Yes, the women featured in Vogue, and other magazines alike are very gorgeous in real life, but the industry tends to push it the extra mile by editing their pictures to a T.

Consequently, it’s programmed into our minds that we all need to look a certain way, walk a certain way and talk a certain way.

I fail to agree with most of those magazines and ridiculous expectations but they will always be apart of our world, constantly evolving.

Admittedly, I have looked in the mirror and felt the very same thing, so much that living in my body felt like a prison.

Evidently, a diagnosis of Crohn’s disease at the highest moment in life tore me to the floor. I was the fittest ever, with 16% body fat and at least four abs. And it felt damn good but then life became hazy.

Imagine being your fittest, your happiest and watching your body crumble in front of the mirror due to all the medications you have to take in order to live a half-decent normal life.

Next comes the job where you work with absolutely flawless looking CEOs, publishers, talent, etc.

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What would happen when you focus on going from fat to skinny?

Well, I’ll tell you what “could happen,” since we are all different. First, you may obsess with the thought of “how can I go from fat to skinny?”

• The happiness leaves, it was fucking humiliating to have stretch marks and not even reached a point in my life where I had a baby.
  
• The way my body was “supposed to be,” left due to Cushing’s syndrome.
  
• People judged my job performance and then I assumed my disease would keep me from getting any decent writing job.
  
• I felt as though I was inspiring others but I hated myself.
  
• My fucking kinkiness sex life went down because I was too embarrassed to take off my shirt.
  
• I had to shave my hair that touched my ass, all that way down to a “Ruby Rose,” cut, which was hard to digest.
  
• Lastly, hating myself set in and I lost track of who I truly was, all because of an expectation, I didn’t change, my body did, right?

Finally, it hit me: I’m being so fucking mean to myself because it doesn’t matter who you are, how much you weigh, or what you do in life, you are and will always looking amazing and you should be proud of your battle scars.

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Elevate your self-image, forget about fat to skinny!

Elevate yourself because you deserve it, you deserve to be proud of any “imperfections.”

Further, those imperfections are what make you damn perfect.

Most importantly, you don’t need to beautify yourself to get a good job or find a good man or woman, frankly, you merely have to be proud of who you are as a whole.

Lastly, take the time to love your self-image, your mental toughness and be who you want to become, life is too short to hate on others, including yourself, let the trolls be trolls.

You’ll be making positive emotional changes while they sit and whine about whatever the hell they want for the rest of their life, that sounds miserable.

If you want “it” (whatever IT is) you can have it believe in yourself, and understand your self-image doesn’t define your future jobs, friends, love life, etc.

Just as Demi Lovato, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Kesha, and many others we look up to say, love yourself.

Blessed be!

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